garlic-breadgasm:

I can hear my brother have sex with his girlfriend next door and there is just a lot of bed creaking and I just heard her say ‘Are you even trying?’ and I laughed so hard my brother came into the room to tell me to fuck off

(via chanelsonmandela)

modestdemidov:

*sprawls out seductively on your bed* *reaches into my pants* *pulls out my cellphone* what’s ur wifi password

(via chanelsonmandela)

I’ve mastered the art of not giving a fuck while simultaneously caring way too much

(Source: lordoftheinternet, via high-rollin)